The Tragedy of Choromatsu's Rabbit
by thejapanesemapletree
Summary: It went unspoken: no one touched Usagi-chan.


**A/N:** Choro n Ichi being sappy and bonding n stuff. Save me.

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The Tragedy of Choromatsu's Rabbit

It went unspoken: no one touched Usagi-chan.

When the Matsuno children had gotten their first vaccinations as babies, they each received a stuffed animal—Osomatsu a bear, Karamatsu a tiger, Choromatsu a rabbit, Ichimatsu an elephant, Jyushimatsu a dog, Todomatsu a pig—that most of them proceeded to lose one way or another over the years; Osomatsu threw his off the roof into the bed of a moving truck, Karamatsu dropped his in the canal when their stroller went over a bridge, Jyushimatsu left his on the subway, and Todomatsu had his hidden by his brothers at the park where none of them could remember.

Ichimatsu had the benefit of not being very affectionate towards the little elephant with big ears. He kept it in the closet and didn't bother with it, even as he aged far beyond the need for a comfort toy. But Choromatsu:

Choromatsu's stuffed rabbit was the object of his most affection. As a child, he slept with it in his pajama top, its round head poking over the buttons. He would rub its mint-green ears and thread nose as a way of soothing himself, and he did so much that the areas of the animal turned a beaten gray like catacomb dust. And in the daytime he would carry it around like his own child: unlike how his brother's would do with their toys, where they would drag them by the leg and throw them around. Instead, he would hold his most favored thing to his chest with both arms, like it could be hurt if he dropped it.

He named it Usagi-chan.

And no one was allowed to touch it. Usagi-chan was _his._ Even when Usagi-chan had to be washed, Choromatsu wouldn't allow his own mother to touch it. He would carry Usagi-chan to the laundromat and put it in the washer himself. Matsuyo was only allowed to supervise.

Yet, that couldn't continue on forever—she knew that. His brothers made sure to it.

Osomatsu was the first to notice how Choromatsu was attached to something other than him. Osomatsu noticed how when the others played with building blocks Choromatsu would just sit, Usagi-chan in arms, and watch; he noticed how Usagi-chan was the baby Choromatsu tended to when they played house.

"Todomatsu is supposed to be the baby!" Once, Osomatsu became so frustrated that he yelled at Choromatsu. "You are supposed to be _his_ mother!"

Osomatsu's abrasiveness caused Choromatsu to cry, and their true mother came in to scold him. Which, retrospectively, was a mistake, for it caused Osomatsu to hate the stuffed rabbit more than ever before.

Osomatsu was never one who could handle jealousy.

And it festered. It grew as he watched Choromatsu snuggling Usagi-chan, or walking with it, or finding a scrap from their mother's sewing basket to make Usagi-chan a kerchief. Osomatsu's envy bloated and sickened and hardened all up until one day, while fighting over who's turn it was on the swing, he did the unthinkable.

"You are not even going to swing on it!" Osomatsu shouted and stomped his display of fury. "You are just going to push that _stupid_ rabbit!"

Osomatsu grabbed for Usagi-chan and all of Choromatsu's red anger melted away to terror. Osomatsu snatched Usagi-chan from Choromatsu's arms like a baby bird from the nest. He watched in frozen heartbeat-horror as Osomatsu wrung Usagi-chan by the neck with one hand and pulled on its arm with the other, a satisfying rip tearing the limb from the body. Then, like it were flith, Osomatsu threw the pieces into the dirt, crowing over the fallen Usagi-chan as he stomped out the stuffing.

Ichimatsu was filled with fear as soon as he heard the sound. He looked up from his snack of grapes to find the source of the awful scream, and his mother beside him all at once knew and all at once was up. She put aside her tote bag and moved faster than he thought anyone could walk. Curious, and worried himself, he dismissed his container of grapes and followed her.

Choromatsu was a fussy crier. Not to say that his tears were beautiful like a rain shower, but they were something like a rain shower in that they came softly and quickly without much to them. Choromatsu cried over little things, like hurting his pinky or not getting his favorite ice cream flavor, but with a few tears and a few clouds he was over his upset.

This wasn't like that at all. These were heavy, full sobs that sent Choromatsu to his knees in misery. He was like a storm of wet snow and sheets of ice and typhoon winds: a power that felled trees and shook the earth and sent animals into hiding. Choromatsu was baffled and hurt by a new kind of woe. He knew loss.

Osomatsu realized his terrible act before Ichimatsu and their mother and the other brothers reached him. He bowed over the crumpled Choromatsu and ruined Usagi-chan with the panic of know wrongs, attempting to soothe Choromatsu's thunderstorm.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

Choromatsu shoved Osomatsu away, still crying hysterically and his malice lost in it. Osomatsu fell on his back with a little yelp, Matsuyo rushing past the gaping Karamatsu to step between them.

"Osomatsu! Choromatsu!"

Choromatsu offered a pitiful squeak of, "Mommy!" It jumbled with his cries, but she understood, and crouched with him beside his damaged rabbit. He swallowed and heaved and tried to speak, an accusatory finger pointing in the direction of Osomatsu dusting himself off.

"Osomatsu-niisan tore Usagi-chan," he muttered within the breadth of a pause, his lips trembling.

Osomatsu opened his mouth to protest, but was caught just at that. He had no rightful argument, yet had no wisdom to realize this and embarrassed himself. Osomatsu twisted in his own hot skin and grasped for something.

"Well, you-"

"You tore off Usagi-chan's arm!" Choromatsu screamed at his brother, and Matsuyo turned Choromatsu's face into her side as fresh tears ran. For now, her utmost concern was the comforting of Choromatsu and not the punishment of Osomatsu. She knew where she was needed.

Ichimatsu felt honest heartbreak on the behalf of his brother. The feeling was strange to him, for wasn't Choromatsu the one hurt, the one with his toy broken? Ichimatsu only knew that he wanted to comfort Choromatsu like their mother, to ease his pain in some fashion. But, what could he do?

Ichimatsu decided and acted as Jyushimatsu and Todomatsu reached them from the other side of the playground. He tip-toed forward, soft as a cat, and crouched over the remnants of Usagi-chan. He picked out the bits of stick and grass as he scooped together the feather-wisps of stuffing, packing them back into the rabbit with the utmost care. Matsuyo watched him with a soft expression as he approached the brother all knotted up in his own vulnerability and not understanding how to cope with it.

"Choromatsu-niisan..." He said, his voice liquid and sweet. "Here."

Choromatsu braved to turn his disheveled face away from his mother. His crying caught for a moment and his eyes widened, his hands grasping for the thing he had thought he lost forever.

"Usagi-chan!" He exclaimed, sheltering the two neat pieces of rabbit close to his chest.

Ichimatsu didn't quite understand why Choromatsu started to cry again, but he understood the fluttering of pride his mother had when she brushed her hand over his head.

Something was okay again.

Only... not completely.

Of course, Usagi-chan was sewn up properly and Osomatsu punished accordingly, but not everything was the same after that. Choromatsu understood now that Usagi-chan could be taken from him—snatched and torn apart—and he couldn't bear to see that happen to his beloved rabbit ever again. As so, he made the bitterly better decision. He placed Usagi-chan on the bedroom shelf and never took it down to play with again.

And that is where Usagi-chan remained for over two decades. The rabbit's presences became such an accepted norm in the household that no one proposed to move it, even when the house was being redecorated and the Matryoshka dolls were added to the shelf. They had their place, like Usagi-chan did, and Matsuyo always got a little sentimental smile when she dusted around the rabbit with black stitching around one arm.

Ichimatsu even almost forgot about his young display of kindness as the years past, focusing instead to turning reclusive and cynical and dark. Osomatsu and Choromatsu turned caustic towards one another for other, unrelated reasons anyway, so there was no historical necessity to reflect on the single day at the park.

That is, until old wounds became new wounds, and the reckoning day of Usagi-chan coming down from the shelf arrived.

The day was dreadfully hot and humid, enough to embitter people and create a sort of alien tension. Ichimatsu noticed it as he prepared to leave the cat cafe: noticed the warped, hazy world that boils the brain and fogs reason outside the cool window. He thought twice about walking home then, but ultimately decided the cats that came around the house near that hour for food were more important than his bodily comfort.

And he experienced the expected bodily misery as he sweated stains into his dark sweatshirt. He made no gasping noise of pleasure as he reached the cool shadows of his house, but his skin gave a little shiver, and he closed the door to the hot city street quickly. Quick enough that he could hear the outburst as he stepped up into the house.

"I can do what I want for _myself!"_

He recognized it as Choromatsu, acidic and angry, from the family room immediately. The door was half-open to allow air circulation, and there the older brother stood, bristled up like a mother animal and his hair ruffling about as the fan in the room swiveled to and fro. He was tensed like someone was about to attack him, and perhaps they were.

"Oh, like you're _any_ better than the rest of us!"

That was Osomatsu. Ichimatsu didn't see him directly, but something shadowy behind the paper door moved towards Choromatsu, and Choromatsu reactively inched back, afraid and even more angry because of it.

"We are adults, Osomatsu-niisan!"

The unsettled feeling finally washed over Ichimatsu: the younger. Not only was Choromatsu, a testy person, upset, but Osomatsu, a usually good-spirited person, was as well. Osomatsu was the type to laugh off conflicts and mishaps, which could be infuriating at times, but also helpful, for it kept the house at peace. None could dethrone the eldest if he acted childish and shameless, which he typically did. Only one thing could move him otherwise, one single emotion that he had never learned to control or come to terms with, one shift in his power-

"You don't have to act like an ass just because you're jealous!"

Ah. Yes. Whether he be jealous of one brother bettering him or doing something before him, Osomatsu was sure to be angered by is own tantrum of jealousy.

Osomatsu went eerily silent after that. His shadow stiffened from its prepared fighting stance to a more chilled disposition, and Choromatsu shut away further as he feared Osomatsu's unreadable next action. He flinched as Osomatsu walked steadily forward and turned out the door, looping through the hallway and up the stairs. Ichimatsu caught his expression and saw it was as blank as frosted glass, though he could detect a fire festering beneath. Osomatsu said nothing to him.

The awkwardness bloomed then. Choromatsu collapsed next to the kotatsu as he allowed his true weakness to manifest, shivering in relief and lingering fear. Ichimatsu didn't know what move to make, if any, or what to say, if anything. Him and his brothers were not the tender type when it came to nursing emotions.

Besides... Whatever the problem was, it was between Osomatsu and Choromatsu.

Choromatsu didn't look to Ichimatsu to beg for comfort, so he took that as an invitation to move on. He collected the cans of cat food and bowl of water, hearing Osomatsu make a show as he stomped about and left. Ichimatsu didn't think much of it, and went to feed the cats in the neighboring alley.

He thought maybe to forget it until he heard Choromatsu scream.

It happened went he returned home a second time, empty food cans in tow. It was an awful, emotional, thundercloud sound: something he hadn't heard for years, not since the day Osomatsu hurt Usagi-chan. Choromatsu's cry brought all the memories and knowledge of that day surging forward, and Ichimatsu dropped the half-full water bowl out of sheer confusion at his abrupt concern. He swore loudly as the water spilled and the fact overwhelmed his senses. He had Choromatsu to care for, and now-

He ignored the water bowl. He moved like his mother on that day, faster than he thought either of them could, to the troubled boy sobbing his song of heartache. Ichimatsu found Choromatsu in too similar a pose, bent over something tattered and green. Upon closer range he saw it was Usagi-chan, as before, its arm torn off down the same seam. Choromatsu was stroking the frayed edges of the arm and body like he couldn't believe he had allowed it to happen again, like through all his efforts no matter what he did he couldn't keep the thing he cared about most in the entire world safe.

He saw that no matter how carefully he planned, he was powerless before anyone like Osomatsu, who sought out to smash up perfection in order to make himself feel better.

Ichimatsu didn't hesitate like he perhaps wanted to at the raw and awkward situation. He rested on his haunches closer to Choromatsu than either of them would normally have been comfortable with, offering him a soothing hand across his back. Choromatsu flinched at the contact and looked up through his tears, surprised. When he recognized Ichimatsu, his eyes scrunched up further, and he began to mutter what seemed to be the beginning of his name.

"Ichi-Ichi-"

"Hush."

Ichimatsu then did what either of them could hardly fathom. He embraced his older brother against his chest, holding Choromatsu's face to his chest like their mother had done to make him feel safe. The action startled Choromatsu before he understood it, and the sentiment and love behind it made a new rain shower with distant thunder that was muffled in Ichimatsu's gross sweatshirt and Choromatsu's equally gross snot.

Neither knew how long Choromatsu cried; it was not tedious length of time either were aware of. And even as Choromatsu cooled, he still sniffled, like he was a toddler once again coming down from a cry.

Ichimatsu returned again to the fallen Usagi-chan. Tuffs of stuffing created an ant trail between the body and arm, the black thread used to stitch it before snapped in half and muddled in the white fluff.

Wasn't Mom's sewing basket in the curio cabinet?

Ichimatsu sent to work at once around Choromatsu. He pocketed the stuffing back into the rabbit. Choromatsu took notice as Ichimatsu finished, his dear Usagi-chan in only two pieces now. All there was to do was to thread them together.

Ichimatsu stood slowly, giving enough time for Choromatsu to scramble back and sit blinking with sore eyes. Ichimatsu gathered the parts of Usagi-chan in one hand and held out his other. The gesture took Choromatsu a moment to understand and appreciate. The two grasped hands, and Ichimatsu pulled Choromatsu to stand, nodding once in satisfaction as he lead him downstairs.

When the sewing supplies were all out on the kotatsu, Choromatsu plunked himself beside Ichimatsu measuring out thread-it was indigo, like night skies or crushed blackberries. Choromatsu brushed his shoulder with Ichimatsu's, still needy and hurt as he watched the surgery done on his rabbit, but likely unwilling to express it. Ichimatsu leaned their heads together nevertheless.

And they sat like that, a pyramid of worry and affection, as Ichimatsu mended the frail green rabbit with purple thread.

Choromatsu's visible stress snapped as the final thread was cut. Ichimatsu handled the little rabbit gently as Choromatsu gave a hum of joy and reclaimed his Usagi-chan, hugging and wallowing his face in the stuffed animal for the first time in years. The attachment was very open, and suddenly the awkwardness was back.

Ichimatsu had to stand as sweat gathered under his collar despite the fan. Choromatsu was too engrossed with Usagi-chan to really notice or care; Usagi-chan was protected as long as Choromatsu could hold it close.

Yet, that couldn't last forever, now could it?

Both realized it with a little heart-fell. Choromatsu held out his sweet rabbit and view it woefully, like a mother recognizing how her child, or herself, were not the same as they were a year ago. Change is sure, and it comes ever so painful.

Ichimatsu—harsh, hateful Ichimatsu—feared it and knew what to do about it.

"Come."

Choromatsu jumped at the unexpected word in the long silence. Ichimatsu didn't wait on him and turned around, walking out of the room and up the stairs in his typical hunched fashion. Choromatsu followed.

He waited patiently, Usagi-chan drawn close, as Ichimatsu dug in the closet for one thing or another. He had to work aside boxes of winter clothes before he found it: tucked away in the corner to be forgotten.

It was his elephant: untouched as the day he had gotten it, yet remembered. It smelled of lacquered wood and darkness, and looked terribly unloved. Choromatsu eyed it curiously.

Ichimatsu, never one for words in any occasion, motioned Choromatsu to put Usagi-chan where it once was. Reluctantly, Choromatsu perched Usagi-chan back on its shelf.

Then, Choromatsu watched as Ichimatsu placed his elephant beside the poor lonely rabbit. The stuffed animals sat back to back, each watching a side the other could not, each reliant on the other. Choromatsu wanted to question or exclaim something about the artistry of it, but Ichimatsu was faster.

"Now Usagi-chan doesn't have to be alone..."

That is as much as Ichimatsu would allow himself to explain or express. The compassion was there, though, and the bubbling of care stung Choromatsu's chest as he understood all his mean little brother did, or was willing to do, for him.

"Y-Yeah..." Choromatsu choked as new tears came. "I guess not..."

Once again, Ichimatsu didn't understand why Choromatsu started to cry. But, he did see how he smiled, and how it was beautiful, like a rainbow in the rain.

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 **A/N:** BONUS: When Choro moves out, Ichi lets him take the elephant with him! :


End file.
